I am spending my child support on dildos
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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