C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize