STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
