i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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