Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
