I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize