I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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