so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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