Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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