he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
