i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
