I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
