i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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