She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize