I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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