oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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