i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
