If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize