Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
