Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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