Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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