I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
