Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize