Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
