so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
