Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize