I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
