I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize