I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
