...so i touched it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
