I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
