party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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