remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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