my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the condom got lost in my hair
I looked at my own cervix.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I currently don't understand fingers.
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