community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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