Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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