didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
