can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
