tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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