My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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