so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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