her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
