What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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