would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
