I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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