Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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