I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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