He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My breasts were aching with rage.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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