My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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