I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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