I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So vagazzling was a success
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
