Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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