I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
