She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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