great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
