just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
