at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Everyone says I win the strip club
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
