so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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