im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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