She announced her abortion via fbk
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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