So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
