You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
