I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize