do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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