Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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