he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
