member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
