found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
