Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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