My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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