in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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